One of the top six things that cause people pain in society is a hunger for dignity*—respect, recognition and importance. Act deliberately to bring a person increased dignity and that person will like you, become loyal to you and say YES to you more often. To the novice, this seems simplistic; to the master, it is a powerful source of human influence.

The majority of people are generally starved for dignity. When you give it sincerely and they believe you, it can be a great lever. Be cautious, however, people are able to sense insincerity and the intent to manipulate. Praise, appreciate and promote others sincerely and you will get YES more often.

Test the concept. Find someone labelled as a “difficult person.” Go out of your way to observe something good about the person and use it to complement or show sincere admiration. Observe over time, even if the first response is incredulity or skepticism. Even the strong have a weakness when it comes to their sense of importance.

QUESTIONS:

Does this work for people who are already fulfilled and successful, or, does it apply only to those who are down-and-out and starved for validation? If the latter is true, then, doesn’t this strategy have very limited application?

*Source: Persuasion Power (Finding the Pain)