Last week I spoke with a gorgeous woman. I told her she was beautiful and her response gave me brand new insight into the human heart. She said,
“All my life, since I was a little girl, I have lived with that. I have gotten sick and tired of people telling me how gorgeous I am, how tall and stately I am, how beautiful my skin is…everywhere I go. It makes me feel like a freak! This thing is like a curse.”
I marveled. Many a woman would risk her last dollar and even her health to be told often how beautiful she is, and yet, when it happens consistently, everywhere she goes, diminishing marginal returns sets in—the essential value decreases over time. Being praised about your looks, stature or any other physical attribute, is a source of extrinsic social approval, but it is definitely not an intrinsic or sustainable source of joy or even happiness.
What are you seeking in life? Have you assessed the true value of it? Will it take years of your life, money and emotional energy to acquire, only for you to discover that the satisfaction it brings is hollow and fleeting? Material possessions are necessary for survival, social acceptance is necessary identity, and achievement recognition is necessary for performance motivation. However, not one will bring abiding satisfaction. Yesterday’s gold cups tarnish and diplomas fade on the wall. The only abiding value in life is love—relationships—how you impact the lives of others. The material and monetary are perishable tangibles; they gain sustained value only when they are invested in the intangibles that are imperishable.
If you want unfading joy and fulfillment, invest your life positively into the lives, hearts and thoughts of others. Touch someone with kindness today.
QUESTION:
Doesn’t the lack of the material and monetary limit one’s ability to show love tangibly?
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I dont think so, showing love in a tangibly way, does not always cost anything. Showing love is as simple as helping a mother to get a couple hours of rest while you watch her child\children. Having money is great but that does not makes you a kind person. There are times when money can stand in the way of kindness, just being there for someone when they need a helping hand like helping someone carry their groceries,or being kind enough to listen when someone just need to vent or want someone to talk to. I know from personal experience that i might not always have money to do things for others, but I am there if someone needs a child sitter, or someone to talk to, or to go to the doctor with or a walk in the park. Money at times present a barrier instead of a opening. Kindness is something that is inside of a person and it make a great difference to others, at times.
Money is only one of the instructions by which love may be expressed to either acquire a product or service or opportunity on behalf of the one(s) you claim to love. If by chance money nor access to money did not come your way or in sufficient quantity then, it cannot be that your ability and capability to love and express love is also absent. I believe that to love involves the whole person and using both the tangible and the intangible, in a positive effort to give life and to improve the life of who you love. There should be a valuing, a nourishing and a cherishing for who you love that oftentimes money cannot buy.
Impressive:
Your article reminds me of a conclusion that I came to some years ago. True fulfillment from life comes from the quality of our relationships and the positive contributions that we make to the world around us. It may not be so much a conclusion as it is an agreement or acceptance of a previously expressed thought but, I support the stance that external beauty is only skin deep.
Does the absence of material possessions negatively affect ones ability to love in a tangible way? I am convinced that one thing which people need now more than ever is the gift of time. Time to be heard, time to be embraced, time to be unconditionally loved and accepted, time to be understood and appreciated, time to heal, time to just be… Funny we all have 24 hours but give so much of it to gadgets and spend the rest in pursuit of an unseen future…the man beside us begging for a minute’s worth of attention. What price can we pay for all the clocks in the world? Even they can’t fill the emptiness ticking in the hearts of the lonely.
Too often, we focus on giving presents where our presence would have been worth so much more. Does the absence of a healthy bank account, fashionable clothes and other possessions affect our ability to love tangibly? it doesn’t have to.
I guess in the end, it is all about perspective…
Regards