Do you ever have to make a sale or persuade someone to acquire a thing for money? Perhaps you are in sales, or you occasionally need to your car or something else. If so, here’s a revelation: In most cases, the thing you sell is of little or no intrinsic value to the intended client or customer.

Breakthrough: Research shows—shoppers do not actually desire your widget, brand or thingamajig. What they want is a certain emotional experience and at best, the thing you offer is a mere conduit for that experience. The intrinsic material or function of that purse, car, meal or car, is secondary to how it makes them feel!

Examples: A fine car is not bought for the science of the pistons and cylinders inside, but for the convenience of mobility, the pride of owning that particular model, the feeling of power from the speed, and the comfort and classiness of it all. A seafood dinner is not for the ingredients, but for the smell, taste, look and anticipation of satisfaction from eating it.

Stop selling stuff such as soap, phones and bank loans. Change your sales script and narrative to reflect the emotional experiences your stuff can generate, and plain and simple, you will make more money and build a more loyal clientele. For details on this and many more money-making strategies, check out Persuasion Power—The Gentle Art of Getting YES. It can add zeroes to your paycheck.

QUESTIONS:

What if you had the power to influence people to give you what you want? If you knew that with the right tools and some practice, twice as many people would say YES to you, for what would you ask? CAUTION! Don’t use Persuasion Power to manipulate others; it’s powerful material when you learn how to use it.

As leader of a team or organization, love your people but be warned: If you get too close emotionally and physically to anyone in the group you lead, it will eventually lead you to crisis or dilemma. The best leaders deeply care for those they lead. However, that caring demands balance…a certain professional distance. Why? The crisis comes when you must make the tough call and do the right thing that could involve hurting that close relationship. Many a leader has faltered by having to consider friendship expectations that go counter to doing the right thing.

No universal law prohibits you from fraternizing with those you lead, but tread carefully–the path is treacherous. The rules of good friendship and of good business relationships are very different and often operate at cross purposes.

When you go to a party with your subordinates, don’t “let your hair down” completely; don’t be the last person to leave; don’t drink and lose your judgment. Yes, have fun and be a real person, but maintain a slight but respectable distance. After all, if there is not space between you and those you lead, are you really leading?

QUESTIONS:

One by one, examine the relationships you have with members of the team you lead. Is each relationship healthy and functional without emotional complications that, under pressure, would impede the achievement of the team’s core purpose?