I made a dumb decision in anger and it cost me. I had called the customer service department at my mobile phone company to seek help with a problem. The lady who answered the call was being unreasonable and intransigent. Like a broken record, she kept repeating the same policy manual paragraph to me, without ever acknowledging my point of view.   Until somebody paid attention to this customer’s needs, I wasn’t going to pay my phone bill. So, I told her I needed to get off the phone, as we weren’t making any progress, then I “politely” hung up the phone. She disconnected my phone service instantly.

For several days, my communications were seriously interrupted. Clients, friends and family couldn’t reach me in the absence of this service that has become so vital to our lives.

I argued that my cellular phone was defective  and needed to be replaced under the warranty. They argued that based on the diagnosis that the little white dot inside the phone had turned pink, I must have gotten the phone wet, and…get this…that voided the warranty! I certainly was not going to pay $375 to buy a new phone, because I knew I didn’t put it in water…regardless of their stupid little white dot. This was equipment malfunction and should be replaced.

This  argument went on for several days until I convinced customer service to send me to a local dealer and repair shop for a second opinion.  When I arrived, I decided to change my attitude. I smiled and greeted Tiffany by name as she stood at the counter welcoming me. The manager walked by and I told him I was led to understand that he was the world’s ultimate expert on cellular phones. He smiled, denied the title and asked how he could be of assistance.

The manager gave the same diagnosis—wet phone; warranty voided. This time, I didn’t resist. I said I was surprised because I never put it into water. And I didn’t know what I was going to do, because I couldn’t  afford to spend that kind of money again so soon…could he help me?

He said, “I tell you what, let me see if I can give you a manager’s override. He punched his authorization number into Tiffany’s computer, told her how to adjust my account and my problem disappeared. He was going to give me a brand new phone, all for free, as a courtesy-exception. I was delighted and thankful. The new phone would take ten minutes to program with my number and other account details. During the wait, I decided to return to my car for a few minutes.

When I returned to the counter, a husband and wife were in the process of disputing the identical issue with their phone…the wife said the company was absolutely wrong…she NEVER put it in water! The husband vehemently insisted on his rights…the stupid little white dot could have malfunctioned, and it obviously did.  He complained of the poor customer service and expressed his anger at Tiffany and her manager. They refused to budge. He had to pay for a new phone because his warrantee was null and void.

On the way home with my brand new replacement phone, including the newly updated software, my mind raced, examining what had happened and analyzing the cause-and-effect nature of the outcomes of my life. I thought of my dear grandmother who taught me many years ago: The humblest calf sucks the most milk. Then I reflected on the words from my favorite book: “ A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.

My colleague, it is good to confirm that in this rough-and-tumble world, you don’t have to be aggressive, truculent or over assertive in order to win and get the outcome you desire. In fact, the very opposite traits are necessary to win consistently. 

In the business world for example, we find many ruffians climbing the corporate ladder, and so we may be tempted to think that the ladder is tilted in their favor. However, I have found that if you look at the lives of the people who are at the top of their ladder, they are far more likely than not, to be kind, polite, understanding and have great personalities.  I think of senior executives I know personally at Campbell’s Soup, P&G, Clorox, Guardian Life Insurance, Grace Kennedy, Unilever, ACN International, Valvoline and many more. They hold positions such as CEO or President, and every one—to a person—is the embodiment of kindness and practices well cultured social skills and good manners. They do not easily show anger and they listen well.

These leaders are tough fighting machines  when necessary; they know how to compete aggressively and they do  not like to lose. However, this tough side is reserved for the special occasions when it is deemed necessary; it does not taint their every day interactions with people.

In fact, most of the ruffians climbing the corporate ladder will be doing that for their entire careers. In general, they will fail to make it to the top or, upon getting there, will not stay for long. Clearly, there are exceptions, but the general rule stands, based on my own experience of over twenty-five years in business. 

I believe I know something about you. You desire excellence; you are bored with the average and mediocre of life; you passionately want to get to the top of your game. If that’s all true, may I ask you a few questions? Are you metal-tough  on the inside and soft, approachable, gentle on the outside? When you believe others do you wrong, are you quick to fight or patient thoughtful? Do you let people “off the hook”  by forgiving them or do you keep a grudge for long? And when, despite your highest principles, you “goof up” like I do so often, do you return to a place of humility and understanding?

Clearly, there are tough souls who, if allowed, will trample on your kindness. So you have to use some wisdom and become somewhat vulnerable if you are going to win the game of life.

Back to the issue with my phone…as I picked up my new phone and saw what just happened with the disgruntled customers, I leaned forward toward Tiffany at the cash register and whispered in a sort of half-question:  “I guess they have the same problem I had, huh?”

She whispered back, “Yeh, but it really pays to be nice.” We smiled at each other knowingly, then I expressed my thanks out loud and departed from the store.

Do you desire to get ahead in life? Then take careful note: in this computer driven, impersonal world of technology, good old fashioned kindness still works…no; kindness pays.

Take it from me, this attitude will give you altitude.

Regards,

Alvin

PS: Exciting, new video resources coming soon…stay tuned.